Picture Me: The Faces of Fashion

Picture Me is a documentary about Sara Ziff a model from the early 2000's who made this documentary with her then-boyfriend to reveal the inside of the fashion industry. When this documentary was released it was kind of the worlds first look into the lives of fashion models. Prior to this, no one knew what it was like to be a model in the fashion industry. Nowadays people are pretty aware of the hardships of being the face of fashion. And we are going beyond that to reverse the standards of beauty that we've set. We now see models of all races, body types, and ages on the runway. There are untouched ad campaigns, more documentaries uncovering the realities of photoshop, and "real-life" models are being used more and more. Having a diverse group of models representing brands is the new standard in fashion and its because of revealing documentaries like Picture Me. Following her documentary, Sara Ziff started college and went on to create the Model Alliance which helps models have a voice when it comes to issues like harassment, labor laws, and health care. It's because of people like Sara that the modeling world is becoming a safer place but there is still a ways to go.

Me in 2015 modeling for a local designer's runway show. After doing this show for three years I realized it wasn't worth it anymore. This show was unpaid and involved being there for a full 12 hours. We weren't provided food or even chairs to sit in while we waited around for hair and makeup. You can't see it in this photo but I was also asked to wear four-inch heels that were two and a half sizes too small. But to my agency, it was a good chance for me to be seen. 

I've always been really interested in fashion, and because of that, I wanted to do anything I could to become a part of it. Lucky for me I somehow grew to be 5'11" and have this unusual biracial face that makes me kind of racially ambiguous. In high school, I was a part of an organization that had a yearly gala and one year I received an award which lead me to be backstage before the show, which lead me to get my makeup done, which lead to the makeup artist referring me to a modeling agency. And before I knew it my high school head grew ten times bigger than it already was and I was sitting in a modeling agency in Cleveland waiting to see what they had to say. They ended up signing me on and giving me a modeling contract. Before then I thought modeling was basically an episode of Americans Next Top Model, and it would be private cars to photo shoots, free clothes, running around cities I've never been, and impressing designers I admired. But modeling in Cleveland is a lot less glamorous and modeling anywhere is strict and annoying. Basically that day I signed a contract with my mom's help that basically said I was not allowed to gain or lose any weight, I had to consult my agent before making any changes in my physical appearance including cutting or dying my hair, any tattoos or piercings, etc. and that I had to send in my measurements every few months to make sure I wasn't changing shape. My agency sent me to a hairdresser and had her do whatever she thought would look best. And they took 20% of whatever I earned from any jobs. Which is all pretty standard for modeling but sounds like a lot of rules when you're 15 and want to dye your hair purple. But I wanted the status of telling my friends I was leaving school early for a modeling gig and hanging out with the photographers of Cleveland. So I did it.

me in 2013.This was my headshot on my agency's website and the first picture in my book. Fake laughing with a full face of makeup. Both very forced.

I got my headshots done just after my 16th birthday. My mom and I talked a lot about how if I wanted to model I would have to use the money I earned to pay off the headshots and then the rest I could have for myself. I remember my mom being really concerned that my view of money would be skewed if my first job involved me making $100 an hour and doing very little work. But, I ended up only making enough money to pay her back and had less than $100 for myself when I decided to quit. There's a lot of reasons why I stopped modeling in particular with my agency. They were strict and unhappy that I didn't measure myself as often as they'd like and that I didn't have the beach body they were looking for. My headshots made me look old but I also had a really young face so companies didn't choose me because they couldn't identify my age. I went to do runways around Cleveland and I often didn't fit into the sample sized garments. I've been called out because I have too big of a butt or that my feet are too big to fit into shoes or that my boobs don't fit the cup size. I even got comments on the fact that I don't wear makeup on a regular basis. Well, all in all, the experience wasn't that great and it left me feeling terrible about myself every time. I would beat myself up over all these little comments. And as I started getting less and less jobs I was questioning myself and why I was doing this at all.

me in 2013 modeling for a friend's photography thesis. This was one of the first times I felt like I was modeling for fun and felt really good about myself while doing it. 

So I stopped when I got into fashion school at Kent State. I learned a lot about myself through modeling. I learned that I honestly love my body the way it is and that other person see your beauty when you see it yourself. I still model but in a very different less serious capacity. I try to do it for fun with photographers I know and like. It's hard to remember that modeling is supposed to be a fun thing instead of work and stress and anxiety all the time. I don't want modeling to make me feel good about myself I want to feel good and let modeling be something I do for fun which I think a lot of girls confuse. And it has opened me up to so many new careers that I really am interested in. I found a new love for photography and styling, and now I'm in fashion school. Modeling pushed me in a direction I'm excited about but its hard and tiring and way more than being a pretty face.